Twitter causes world silence

8 May 2009satire, news

Social networking super-site Twitter was at the centre of an Internet phenomenon tonight, as twits around the world were effectively cut off from everybody due to essential maintenance work being carried out on the service.

To imagine what this was like for twits, cast your mind back to school examinations. You’re in a cold, large, echoing room amongst your peers, many of them sitting only feet away. Yet you can’t talk. No looking. No sign language. And no breathing. Total isolation – that, is life without Twitter.

Count down to the mammoth apocalyptic event began early in the day after a small announcement was made by Tweeter Towers themselves, leaving many twits wondering how they could survive during the maintenance window. An emergency website (including an interactive shoutbox) was launched by fellow twits, with a primary aim of helping those most affected to cope with the difficulties. The website, TweetsAnonymous, also boasts a helpful ideas section detailing a wide selection of interesting and unique things to do until Twitter was restored. Such words of wisdom include reading, going outside, and finding real people to talk with.

A recent internet traffic report, published earlier last month, revealed that Twitter is now responsible for over 95% of the world’s internet traffic. My sources have been able to produce this global traffic graph for today:

Nobody on Twitter was available for @ replies.